May 27, 2015

Forevermore


"Give me what you are thinking and all that you're feeling", you once begged me, as I battled the emotions I didn't want to feel deep inside my soul. 

I had just reached a peace, an insight on lost love, that made me so sad for being so perfect. You did me good and that did me so wrong!
How could I confess such sad beautiful thoughts, my dearest baby?!

Some people become part of our lives, not by choice, but by naturally belonging to us... Like a bone is part of our skeleton, like our lungs know how to breath, like our heart knows how to keep pumping blood, these persons become, just as lightly and, in that way, just as heavily, part of ourselves. 
Symmetrically, some moments are not to be understood, not to be dissecated to rational meaning, but to be felt and mindfully unified with our spirit.
I love this magic part of life where some paths become unmistakably ours, even if you didn't knowingly choose to travel them. 

You came to me as this sneaky gentle creature that made me feel my once trustful and wholesome self... The person I fearfully and sorrowfully hid for so long.
For so many years now, I missed this imaginary place I once called home... I missed that safety... that peace... I felt homeless. Suddenly, as you held my body tightly close to yours, I could take a deep, peaceful breath again. As I felt your embrace, I could sense my muscles relaxing and my heart slowing down. A peaceful security invaded my soul. 
On those brief moments you became my shelter, my happiness... You were my home!

After these moments of mellow joy, I knew if I could I would only want you. Wherever, however... Forever! 

And I dream.
And when I dream, I dream of you.
And I want.
And when I want, I want you. 
Each and every minute that I can, as I know that soon enough I will only be a dream to you, a lost memory that time will forget. 
I want you...  For it was you that found me when I wasn't sure I still existed anymore. 

If I could I would beg you for eternity.
I know I can't.
Instead, I'll beg for you to embrace me just once more... So I can be home just this little longer. So I can be home this little moment that will have to last forevermore.